3 Ways to Make Being Alone Matter in 2020

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1. Get a hobby

The feeling of loneliness isn’t your enemy here. It is trying to tell you something important. You need relationships in life. You need meaningful connection. But bad relationships are like cocaine — a great short-term fix and a terrible long-term strategy. Don’t fight that urge though; you will always lose. Instead, let it push you out the door. Go take a yoga class, start a martial art, an acting class, improv, or whatever you’re into.

2. Do absolutely nothing

This might seem odd, but so much of what we do is motivated out of fear. We’re so terrified of “wasting time” alone that we end up in mostly meaningless relationships that waste years of our lives. You can’t afford to not do absolutely nothing anymore!

Being alone never means something is wrong with you. It just means you are being properly patient.

— The School of Life

3. Write down what you want in a relationship. Don’t be flexible.

I recently did this for the first time. I have 12 things I look for. I’ll share them:

  1. She is very attracted to me
  2. She is in a similar place spiritually. Maybe further.
  3. She reads a lot, and has a well-formed set of values that are similar to mine
  4. She is financially independent, loves her work, but does not live to work.
  5. She wants kids
  6. She is funny, perceptive, and smart
  7. She is ready to enter a long-term trust relationship
  8. She is honest and brave
  9. She is slightly more extroverted than me and helps me maintain friendships
  10. She is more feminine than me, but it does not turn into a maternal relationship
  11. She is an excellent and patient traveler

Written by

Lost southern boy learning to be a storyteller in Los Angeles. Interested in writing together? taylorforeman.com

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