The Improbable Way Ayahuasca Unites Us
A house somewhere in the hills of Los Angeles. The city seen through the floor-to-ceiling windows. Little Buddhas and crystals line the panes.
A group of people sit in a circle around a man. “I want each of you to have an important experience today,” the man in the middle says. He’s got lots of bracelets and is wearing loose linen clothing. “Now, when you drink the ayahuasca, there is going to fear and nausea. Remember to let go! If you fight it, you will not win! Don’t worry, I will be here to guide you.”
A man in the circle is looking around himself, seeing that he is dressed unlike everyone else. He’s got on boots and jeans and a UT baseball cap. “Alright, yeah,” he says in a thick southern accent. “I’m real nervous, I’m gunna be honest with you. Y’all seem like a little more experienced than me.” He gestures kindly to the surrounding people. “I found you on Craigslist, and I was lookin’ to get high… And I’m a little nervous.”
The shaman takes a moment to think with his hands together at his heart. “Sir,” he says. “You’ve come here under the wrong impression, that much is clear. However, I think the universe has sent you here today to change you. Do you want to change, sir?”
“Aw, hell yeah,” he says, looking around and nodding. “I definitely need to change. Just the other night, me and my buddies was eatin’ down at that Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant and I told them, ‘Hey, I bet you I could drink fourteen beers in the next half-hour.’ And they bet me and I did it and, boy, I spewed…”
“Alright,” the shaman says. “What did you say your name was?”
“Yeah, my name’s Bill. Just, big ol’ dumb Bill. But, dang… Yeah. I never done ayahuasca before. Does it get you good and high?” He’s wiping his hands on his jeans.
“Bill, this isn’t really about getting high. This is about an experience. It’s about changing you spiritually from the inside out. It is about communicating with God.”
“Aw, hell yeah, hell yeah. That’s good, that’s good,” he says, again looking around him nodding, misconceiving rapport with the people sitting next to him, who only seem annoyed. “‘Cause I hadn’t been going to Church, you know. Ever since I got kicked out of my town…”
The shaman pauses with his feet pointing away from Bill. He knows he needs to move on. He sighs. “Why did you get kicked out of your town, Bill?”
“You oughtta know by now, Mr. Shaman!” he says, the only one to laugh. “I got too drunk on communion wine and I went up a groped Jesus. Well, just the statue of Jesus. That got me kicked out of my little town in Texas, of course. So, here I am, uh, you know. So, I appreciate you, you know, believing in me and whatever you were talking about.”
The shaman takes another moment. “Bill, you are certainly interesting, but I need to move on. I’m focusing on you a lot and I’m kind of being unfair to everyone else here.”
“Hell! Go ahead, you know? Go to the next person. I’m just, like, terrified that all my demons is gunna come up and I’m just gunna start punching.”
“You’re afraid you’re going to get violent?”
“Aw, hell, I don’t know if violent is the word, but I might just start windmillin’ because I’m terrified as hell.”
“Well, I need you to promise me that you won’t-” begins the shaman.
“I’m terrified too!” says another man.
“Hell yeah, thanks for speaking out, brother!” says Bill.
“Me too!” a woman says.
“Cool, cool,” Bill says.
The entire class begins to chatter about their fears. Bill puts his hands in the air. “Y’all, y’all, it’s gunna be fine. There ain’t nothing inside you that you can’t handle. One time me and my buddies were tipping over aisles in Walmart and one fell on me and I nearly died that day. I saw God and realized that everything was going to be OK. That don’t mean I’m not afraid now, but I know I’m gunna be OK, especially if I can talk about my fears with you good folks.”
Tears form in the eyes of several people.
“Bill, you have really surprised us today. I think we’re all grateful you stumbled upon us,” says the shaman.
“Aw, hell,” Bill says. “Y’all bring it in.” He extends his arms.
Everyone gathers in a group hug.
Originally published at https://www.tumblr.com on January 3, 2020.
