Damn, Steve!

Two men sit in a breakfast booth at a hotel. They’re wearing business casual from the previous decade.

“Damn, Steve! This breakfast is hot.”

“Hell, you know I try to treat my team right, Doug. We go to the Marriott.” Steve laughs to himself, coffee in hand. “They got a little more than continental.”

“Damn, Steve. You know, when I signed up to work for you, I thought it’d be good, but I didn’t think it’d be this good. Hell, this oatmeal is piping hot. And this coffee? Well, all coffee is hot I guess. But damn, I got bacon, Steve.” He rips into a piece and rolls his eyes in ecstasy.

“Yeah, when you’re working with me, Doug, you get what you need. We’re out on the road, and we’re selling that baby food software. Who wants to buy a baby food subscription service from two idiots eating continental breakfast at,” he chuckles as if he can barely speak the next words, “Holiday Inn?”

They both laugh deeply.

“Damn, you’re funny, Steve. That’s cool. I like working with you because we laugh. You know? We get together and we just laugh.” He pauses to consider his next words. “I sometimes sit in my hotel room at night and I’m like, ‘I wonder what Steve’s doing? I wonder if he’s laughing!’” He chuckles to himself self consciously. He looks up to Steve, terrified he’s said too much.

Steve takes a sip of his coffee seriously. “This is the weirdest thing, Doug. Last night we happened to be in those rooms adjoined by that weird door with a door on both sides–”

“Yeah?” Doug says hopefully.

“Well, last night I went up to that door and just put my ear to it and I just said, “What’s Doug doing? What’s he doing in there? I wonder if he’s laughing.”

Doug is delighted. “Steve…”

Steve takes a vicious bite of bacon.

“I did the same damn thing, Steve! I was up against that door. I wonder if we did it at the same time!”

“Wow… We’re really getting along, you know? I’m really glad I hired you. A lot of times I hire folks and it’s just like,” He droops his head in mock exhaustion, “’Uhh, we gotta work again today, Steve? Damn…’ And I’m like, ‘Yeah we gotta work today! I’m a working man!’”

“Damn, Steve, you’re right. I love working. I love working with you. I love selling, uh, baby food software. You know, I don’t have any kids. And I don’t need no baby food, but like, I can imagine what that’s like. And to be able to be like,” he snaps his fingers, “BAM! Pull out your app. BAM! Pick out your baby food based on its unique profile and BAM! Send ’em some baby food. Like, that’s good stuff! And you invented that, Steve! Damn!”

“Thank you, Doug! You know, we live in this world of apps and I make a new one and everybody’s like, ‘Oo, way to go, Steve. Made an app! Got a million of those…’ But I put my heart and soul into this baby food app, damn! And look, you get it, Steve. You just get it.”

Doug tosses the last bit of bacon into his mouth. “Mmm!” he hums. “You ready to sell some damn baby food?”

“Oh, hell yeah, Doug.”

They walk to the host stand to pay.