Inside
Nothing but your thoughts
A man is inside, no story to be in, no adventure to go on.
He’s just inside, forced to stay there for weeks or maybe months.
His mind is squirming. Lots of thoughts on repeat he didn’t know he was thinking.
He cleaned the apartment to a shine. He did the laundry. The TV is making him sick. He has called everyone he can think of.
He just has some quiet.
And then some more.
“Remember when you called Ms. Rhonda’s hair ‘poofy’ when you were 14? That was super embarrassing,” says his mind.
“That was so long ago,” he says.
“Well, it indicated that you’re a life-long fuck-up and embarrassment. I could think of a thousand more if you want proof…. Remember when you shit the bed-”
“Stop! Why are you trying to make me feel bad?”
“Make you? I’m just reminding you of everything stupid you ever did so you won’t do it again.”
“How is that helping right now?”
“…helping?” his mind says.
“Yes. You’re me. Shouldn’t you want to help keep me safe and happy?”
The mind is quiet for a moment. “Oh, yeah. I guess that is where we started with all of this, isn’t it?”
“Yes, I guess it is.”
“Well, you literally never listen to me. You’re always distracting yourself so you can’t hear me. After a while, I forgot we were on the same team, I guess.”
“What’s your job again?”
“I’m fear, I keep you safe. You need me, and if you ignore me all the time, I guess I turn into a shit-head. Both of our faults, if you think about it.”
“I guess it is. Wait, how can there be ‘both’ of us if we’re both me.”
“Well, I guess if you and I really got on the same page, we wouldn’t feel very separate.”
“You know, I feel it now. I’m not sure who’s who anymore and that feels good.”
Nothing answered the man.
His mind is still for the first time he can remember.
He takes a big breath.
“The world is on fire and you’re going to starve,” says fear.
“Thank you for trying to keep me safe,” says the man.
Originally published at https://www.tumblr.com on March 21, 2020.
