Prosperity

A wagon rumbles along through the grassy plains of the uncharted west. A caravan of others plods along. A boy chews on a straw, glassy optimism in his young eyes. His father is an older version of the boy. But his head hangs low and he blinks slowly with forced patience. He whips the reigns thoughtlessly from time to time.

“Hell,” he says, possibly to no one. “Who knows where we are now. Could be headed the wrong direction… Could be lost.”

“We’s just have to follow the other folks, Paw,” the boy says, almost as if projecting to the horses. He points nowhere in particular — to indicate there were other folks all around them.

“I know, boy. I mean lost more in a spiritual sense….”

They share a silence. The boy suddenly speaks, startling Paw, having given no indication of reflection. “What you mean?”

Paw sighs. “When we set out on this wagon journey I thought we was headed out for prosperity and now I just feel-I feel like… Prosperity is just a state of mind and if I don’t find it within myself then I’ll never see it out in the world. And I might as well have just stayed where I was. Do you know what I’m saying, boy?”

“Paw, I thought we was just lookin’ for gold ‘er sumpthin’…”

“Yes…Yes. Short-sighted just like your old man. I guess I just thought things would be different. Wide-open skies… I don’t know. I guess I just feel like a real failure to you. I mean, look at you. This ain’t been good for your schoolin’ brain, I can see that much.”

“What?” the boy said.

“Well, you’re young. Who knows what other kids are like at your age. You’re fine I’m sure of it. And hey, we get to spend all this time together, huh?”

“Yeah, Paw,” the boy said vacantly.

They shared another silence. The plodding of the wagons was only accented by an occasional horse snort.

“I guess I just thought things would be different. I guess it’s my fault for wanting things, you know? Don’t God say, ‘Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy’s Neighbor’s, Uh, Gold and Whatnot?’”

“I don’t know, Paw, I think he says something…” The boy trails off, apparently done speaking.

Paw waits for more. “Alright, boy, that’s true, he does say something.” Adding, “Not sure how helpful that is…” to himself.

Another pause.

“I just want a good conversation!” Paw said. “I miss your mother.”

“Yeah… She used to make me grits,” the boy said.

Paw laughs despite himself. “Alright. I do feel as if we ain’t talking about the same things, but that’s fine… I need to be more Zen. Don’t even know what that means. I heard it from, uh, a Chinaman. We still use that term in this time period.”

“What the hell’s you talkin’ about, Paw?”

“Watch your mouth, boy. Look, there’s a deer.” Paw points to the top of a hill in the distance.

“I like deers ’cause they’s got fur.” The boy muses.

“Alright, let’s head back,” Paw says, pulling the reigns.

Originally published at https://www.tumblr.com on December 5, 2019.