The Mayor Blew Up the Water

“Sit down,” says the guy at the front of the conference room. He looks tired and his sleeves are rolled up. “We got a big story. Marie, I want you on this, OK? You’ve got the eye.”

“OK,” Marie says, looking up from her notes, hair falling out of bun. “What’s the scoop there, boss?” Their accents are very North Dakota.

“There’s been a big explosion down at the water plant. And I don’t know that it was all the way an accident.”

“What gives you that idea, Mr. Hand?” says another man toward the back.

“Well, the water itself exploded, Steven. Is that good enough for you, professor?”

Marie laughs. Steven sighs.

“What makes the water explode there, boss?” Marie says, getting ready to write.

“We don’t know yet, that’s why I need you to find out who did it, don’t you know?” Mr. Hand says. “Steven!” he barks, turning quickly. “You don’t have to raise your hand. Just talk!”

“Uh, yeah, I’m wondering why you assume someone made the water explode?” he says, shrinking down the pen he had stuck in the air.

“That’s what I need to know, Steven! Maybe it was that nasty mayor who tried to put us out of business!”

“You think the mayor made the water explode?” Steven says.

“I’m just pitching, Steven!” Mr. Hand says. “I’m doing what you all should be doing there. Pitch to me!”

“Sir, do you want us to just speculate?” Steven asks.

“Steven, so help me God…”

“What if it was the mafia?” Marie says.

“There we go!” Mr. Hand says. “Maybe they are working with the mayor to ruin our water and put us out of business! Write that down!”

Marie writes furiously. Steven squints and leans over Marie to read the notes.

“What if it was our rival town of Clinton?” Marie says as she dots her i’s.

“You think the mayor is low-down enough to work with Clinton?” Mr. Hand says. Marie scribbles at inspired speed.

“Sir,” Steven says, gathering himself. “It seems like you have it out for the mayor. What’s going on with that, then?”

There is a tense silence.

“Marie,” Mr. Hand says. Marie is in rapture. “I have a new theory about who blew up that water.” He is making intense eye contact with Steven. Marie is ready to write, looking between them. “And I think it was to do with Steven…”

“What?” Steven says, standing. Marie is writing.

“…And the mayor,” Mr. Hand says.

“Ok, I quit,” says Steven.

Originally published at https://www.tumblr.com on January 7, 2020.